


True to ourselves

by ScarletLioness



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: After Apocalypse, Building Relationship, Conscious Bentley, M/M, Romance, consious bookshop, rated for later chapters, soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:20:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22632556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScarletLioness/pseuds/ScarletLioness
Summary: When Heaven and Hell are no longer breathing down their backs Crowley and Aziraphale are finally free to explore who they are free from anyone’s strings. That involves their relationship to each other just as much as their relationship to the world.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Kudos: 5





	1. Prologue

In front of a bookshop that was, strictly speaking, more a personal library and a place for lost souls to find a nudge in the right direction, a beautifully maintained 1926 Bentley screeched to halt in a spot that was, strictly speaking, not an official parking slot. Nothing notably out of the ordinary. No one would bother to look twice at the oldtime to bother it.  
What was notably out of the ordinary however, was the extreme amount of nervous energy radiating from the two passengers within the Bentley. The redheaded demon on the driver seat gripped the steering wheel tightly, staring straight ahead behind dark glasses. Next to him, a blonde angel sat, hands primly folded in his lap, also looking straight ahead. Neither was breathing; luckily for them they didn't need to. They were frozen in this moment, trying to gather their courage for the next. The tension rose as the angel took a breath, preparing for words. "The Ritz is always a lovely place for lunch. I've thought about trying something new, though. Would you care to join me for a picnic?" From the corner of his eye he saw the demon deflate into the seat.  
"Sure angel... picnic sounds nice."  
"Good my dear. And would you like a glass of wine or do you have other matters to attend to?"  
At that the demon brightened. "Yes, angel. Would love a glass of wine." With graceful movements the demon got out of the car and opened the passenger door to help the blonde out of the Bentley as well. Instead of letting go of the offered arm once he was on his feet though, he linked their arms together. Blushing furiously they walked the few steps over to the bookshops door, miraculously unharmed by fire as the Bentley itself was. Aziraphale opened the door, entering without hesitation. When he realised the demon was not following he turned to see him standing inside the doorframe, an expression of mild wonder on his face. "Crowley? Everything alright?", Aziraphale asked, a little confused. Crowley gulped, grabbed his sunglasses and took them off, putting them into his shirtpocket before meeting the angels eyes.  
"When I came here last time to meet you the shop was on fire and you were gone. When I was here while we changed it felt off because you weren't here.", the demon said quietly. The blonde nodded in understanding. "I'm sorry. I didn't see this place destroyed. I guess I've just put this off my mind..." Truth be told Aziraphale had very much avoided thinking about his beloved home burned down. It had not been to hard, considering how much stress they had been through ever since it happened. Everything they should probably start talking about.  
Crowley moved towards him. "I'm glad you didn't see it. And I'm glad I get to see you here again. Feels right to see you surrounded by old books again." A charmingly soft smile graced the redheads features, melting the angels heart just a little. "Come on then, let's get ourselves surrounded by a bottle or two. Feels like the right backdrop.", he says with a wink, pulling him to the backroom and dropping him off on the settee that, over time, had become increasingly comfortable by the demon's own preferences. After just a moment to gather glasses and a bottle of white Aziraphate dropped into the free seat next to Crowley rather than on the armchair he usually occupied.  
Toasting each other Crowley drowned nearly the whole glass in one go. In part to summon his courage, in part to annoy the angel just a tiny bit.  
"Crowley we should talk about last night.", the angel said before Crowley had figured out how to start the conversation that had burned in the back of his throat ever since he had met the angel, thankfully unharmed, at their bench in St. James' park. Before unlikely survival  
had been on his mind. Then this talk was not meant for a public place. He had been worried they would be avoiding this talk the way they had been for centuries now. But obviously they would not avoid it. Brave new world.  
"You said you're in love with me. I've told you it's mutual. But we said it when we were scared to cease existing without telling each other." firaphale nodded. "Indeed. That leaves us with the question how we would like this to influence the future."  
"Am I right to assume you would like it to influence our future relationship quite dramatically? Or am I interpreting an invitation to a picnic wrongly?", the demon asked, trying to keep the hopefulness out of his voice. He needed the angel to confirm before it crushed his heart beyond healing.  
"I do, if you would like that as well. I must warn you though, Crowley. I'm afraid I'm quite slow. I've told you once you go too fast for me. It might be a long time before we're progressing this relationship significantly. Do you think you would be okay with that?"  
"Aziraphale, Angel. I've been waiting for you to tell me we're on the same direction for literal millennia. We can go as slow as we want as long as you promise me we are going somewhere." A blinding smile graced the angel‘s features that the demon could only return in the same intensity as Aziraphale replied: "Gladly." and boldly reached out for his hand to hold.


	2. I: London weather

Most bookshops have a certain feel to them. They are inviting and filled with knowledge and entertainment, luring in potential customers. A.  
Z. Fell & Co. was decidedly not like most bookshops. While filled to the brim with books that held knowledge and entertainment it was not  
inviting to customers. instead it positively repelled them, basically invisible to anyone wanting to buy books. That did not mean however that nobody felt drawn to it.

In fact lost wanderers seemed to find the warmly lit entry during its confounding opening hours like moths drawn to flame.  
Today a young man in rather shabby looking clothes entered. He looked worn out and tired, so the shop felt inclined to alert his angelic owner immediately. "Good afternoon." Aziraphale said as he walked around to the entrance. "Good afternoon. I'm sorry, I don't actually look for books, it's just the downpour I'm trying to avoid." the young man said, a little sheepish.

"Oh yes, we get quite a few of those this time of year. Don't worry about it, I don't mind. Over there is an armchair if you'd like to sit. I'm very particular about the books conditions, so I'd prefer it if they remain untouched." the angel said with a smile that was infused with just enough grace to allow for the not-customer to relax. "Thank you, sir."

Aziraphale bustled around a little, not going too far away from where a little sidetable flanked by two armchairs were placed. From the armchair the man had chosen he could watch the street through one of the grand display windows. After a few minutes in silence he spoke up when Aairaphale turned into his view. "I don't really like the weather in London any time of the year." The angel stopped his task to look over.  
"It is not to many peoples tastes." "I grew up in India actually. The weather there is much more to my liking.", he said with a faraway expression. Aziraphale moved over to sit in the other armchair. "I can imagine, I've been to the north of India a few times. Lovely place, but too warm for me."  
"Yes, I suppose it is when you're used to England."  
"And what brings you into the horrible London weather?"  
"Ah, I guess that would be love.", the young man said without much enthusiasm. The angel wondered how one could be so unhappy about it. "I say! Love is probably the best of reasons to go anywhere."

When the other did not respond, he felt the need to dig deeper into that. "Or is it not?" Now the young man crumbled in on himself, whispering: "Not if it is the reason you had to go." The angel's smile turned sad at that. The stream of queer people of every generation that felt cast out by their environment never seemed to ebb down. "But especially then it is. Not being able to live how one wants to is not worth to forsake love. You may believe me in this. When you've lived a little more you will know that yourself."  
The young man seemed still a little doubtful. Sometimes it took some time for the humans that crossed the bookshop threshold to work through the angelic pointers.

Just then the familiar roar of the Bentley was audible as it smoothly come to a stop in front of the shop. The rain stopped as the drivers door was opened and the lanky redhead stepped out into the street, producing a beautiful boquet of flowers from the car before walking towards the entrance. Aziraphale brightened up considerably upon this sight. Crowley swaggered over to where they were seated to present the flowers to him with a soft smile. "Saw those while I went home from an appointment and had to think of you angel."  
"They are beautiful. Thank you my dear." The young man's demeanor shifted to considerably more upbeat. It was the right choice to come to London after all. Because here in Soho he did not have to worry about being himself. Here, there were no disappointed and disapproving parents to worry about. "Thank you for the shelter, sir. I will be on my way then, getting out of your hair." with a nod and a wave Aairaphale paid his goodbye, sending a small blessing with the young man.

"You are having quite a few more people coming in ever since the apocalypse didn't happen.", Crowley noted after the door had closed. "I am. It is very refreshing not to worry about how others might feel about my interactions with them. Seems like they feel more welcome as well.", the angel replied thoughtful. "And these flowers truly are wonderful. Let me put them into a vase, then I will be ready to go out."  
"I'm glad you like them. Though I had hoped you might be inclined to stay in, order from that nice pizza place and watch a movie?"  
"That would depend on the movie you have in mind.. Staying in seems like a good idea. Next downpour is probably just a few minutes away anyways.“

The soft chick from the door indicated that the bookshop had closed down for the night. Aziraphale moved upstairs to the little flat above the bookshop, Crowley following straight up. Crowley let himself fall into the spacious sofa that had been adjusted lately to face the TV the demon had brought into the place.

The redhead pulled out his smartphone to look up the app to order food in. "So what are you feeling up to, Angel?", he shouted over to the small kitchen where the angel had gone off to, probably getting a kettle on. "Surprise me!" came the reply.  
"Feeling particularly trusting today?" Aziraphale stepped back into the livingroom with a tray of tea and biscuits in his hands. "Not particularly, no. But since I had rather planned on an outing I assumed you had planned out a nice evening in. Don't try to fool me, you had been ready to place the order before you even asked.", he said with a knowing smile.

It was how they spent most of their shared time now. Aziraphale would plan for restaurants and general date night ideas and Crowley planned their more quiet and relaxed evenings at one of their homes. Crowley grinned, took off his sunglasses and tossed them on the little table behind the sofa. "Yep." he said and the angel shook his head with a fond smile as he sat down and placed the tray next to the sunglasses.  
"Think that young man will be fine?" Crowley asked as they talked waiting for their food to arrive. "I dearly hope so. There is only so much one can do. But I think you turned up at just the right time. Helped him see my words for the wisdom they are."  
At that the demon quirked his eyebrow and putting on a sly grin. "So I helped setting someone on the righteous way? Thought we retired the Arrangement?“ Aziraphale took a sip of tea, not answering immediately. "We retired. Not just the Arrangement. But I guess since you so kindly helped me I could thank you with a back rub if you'd like."

Aziraphale loved seeing the blush creep over the normally suave demons cheekbones. While they spent way more time together than apart for the last few months and flirted openly, affectionate touches were still tentative and very gentle. It suited them fine to more at their own pace. Holding hands in public brought them immense delight. Some weeks ago on an evening much like this as they shared the sofa and held hands during some rom-com or another the angel had gently begun massaging Crowley hand the way he enjoyed during his manicures. The demon had been transfixed and delighted by the to him new sensations. That had opened a fairly innocent way of getting used to touch and be touched by one another in which they delighted. They had all the time in the world now.

Crowley shrugged out of his jacket and sent it over to one of the nearby chairs before turning his back towards the angel. The angel meanwhile moved closer to the other. He felt like pushing himself a little further today. "My dear, would you mind taking off your shirt as well? You are so tense, I'd like to properly get rid of the tensions. And... I'd like to touch your skin.", he whispered in the demon's ear. A shiver went through the lithe form, followed by a gulp and a nod. Crowley began to unbutton his shirt. "How could I deny such a lovely request?", he said, mostly to break the silence in which he could feel the angel's gaze on him. "By saying no." Aziraphale said seriously. "I mean that, Crowley. You must tell me when you are uncomfortable by anything." At that Crowley turned to meet the angels eyes over his shoulders. "I know, Angel. It's as I said: we move in our pace now. That means both of us decide how fast we move. But thank you for giving me the chance to opt out." He grinned and turned back to finish removing his shirt and undershirt. Aziraphale appreciatively let his gaze wander over the newly exposed milky skin. The demon was more muscular than his clothed appearance suggested; he was packed with lean muscles that enticingly jumped underneath the skin as he moved. The faintest dusting of freckles was visible on his shoulders and arms that lacked exposure to the sun obviously.

After a few moments of Aziraphale staring at Crowley without moving Crowley once more turned to look at him. "Everything alright? Or should I redress?" "Oh no, don't. I knew you were beautiful, my dear. I fear it just hit me how much so.", he said blushing and putting his large hand on Crowley's shoulder. The demon blushed as well at the praise. He never would have dreamed to actually hear the angel utter those words. 

The demon had always been fascinated by the angel's hands. They were larger than his own and not as lean, perfectly fitting the angel. Aairaphale was taller than him. Not by much, but still. The angel's hand easily covered the curve from his neck to the shoulder. And was that not just marvellous? The broad hands gently massaging down his back and working out the knots . that had build in his shoulders paired with the warmth emanating from them left Crowley molten in pleasure. "This is even nicer than I imagined." Aziraphale said before he went to receive their order as he heard the doorbell. The demon retrieved his undershirt and moved over to the dining table, setting it for their pizza.  
The angel returned with the order Crowley had placed. They talked about their respective days during dinner before settling on a movie the blonde had read about.


	3. Retirement

Retirement proved difficult for Cowley. Initially he had been gleeful at the idea to have no more missions to fulfill- With averting the apocalypse (or, more truthfully speaking about it, at least allowing for the anti- Christ to have a few moments to collect his thoughts before the final showdown for the world) and all that followed the most stressful week of his existence had left him drained enough for at least a whole week of sleep. Not that his fear of other forms of hellish persecution had allowed him a truly restful sleep. Or a long one at that. So he fell into a very human sleeping pattern. And after a month of calming down and dating the angel in public  
(something that still had so much of a dreamlike quality to him that he doubted he was actually awake every day) he had finally settled into a routine again.  
Which was the starting point of his troubles. Because lurking about and indulging in cloth and causing mild havoc were not that much from his former job to be honest. So he was not exactly retired when he did what he wanted but not doing as he pleased would also be very unfulfilling.  
After a few days of trying to come up with a solution over his dilemma his phone rang. "Hello Angel. How are you?", he asked as he picked up. "Hello my dear. I haven't heard from you in a bit and wondered if you're alright and maybe up to grab a cuppa at the confectionery?" Crowley felt a little bit like an idiot. He could hear the worry in the angel's voice. "I'd love to. Should I pick you up or do we meet there?" "See you there. I was hoping for a walk with the weather being nice." I Hairaphale answered brightly. "Alright, looking forward to see you." they ended the call them and Crowley made his way over to their favourite confectionery in Soho. The demon was bound to arrive before the angel who would likely take his time walking over. He ordered a cup of coffee and settled in to wait. Aniraphaleis light blonde hair came into new way before he would have expected. Crowley took some time time to take in the other. He was fidgety and had that expression plastered on his face where he tried to look as if everything is perfectly fine while inwardly he is panicing.  
He immediately put on the most reassuring smile he could muster. Damn it. Crowley should not have just vanished without at least telling the angel. Standing to greet the angel and walk over to the cake display together he choose to be bold. Leaning in to the angel he dared a quick peek to his cheek. He was very grateful that Airaphale did not flinch back. "I'm sorry I didn't call earlier. Been a bit preoccupied the past few days. But I missed you", he whispered to the angel.  
Hairaphale looked at him questioningly, still very much stressed. "I'll tell you once we've chosen our cakes?" Crowley offered, gesturing to the display. They moved over, Crowley choosing angel food cake and Airaphale red velvet. The waitress brought their cake slices over and a cup of Darjeeling for the angel. "So what was keeping you busy this week?", Aairaphale asked when anything was put before them.  
"Retirement to be honest.", Crowley started, taking a bite of his cake before continuing on "It seems like it proves a little challenging than I hoped."  
"And how is that so?", the angel asked guardedly. "It proves a dilemma to me. My hobbies align with my job description. So the only part that is retired is that I'm no longer on Hell's back and call." Finally the angel was relaxing. "uh. Yes I understand that. I've never felt about it this way. I do what I want to do because I choose to do it, not because I was told to me specifically told not to do something.", the angel replied.  
He contemplated the angel's perspective while eating a few more bites. "You could see it this way: you are retired but you are still able to do some freelance work to keep your mind sharp.", Aziraphale ventured on. "I think thats how I see it. Maybe it helps." The demon nodded.  
"Should have asked for your input sooner, clever angel."  
"And that was the only reason I didn't hear from you?" The insecurity in the blonde's voice was back once more. Crowley reached out to cover the other's hand with his own. "I promise you there is no other reason I haven't been in touch. But Angel, I wish I had called you up about this earlier." Aziraphale blushed crimson but looked very happily down to their still linked hands. Crowley smiled and pulled the angel's hand so they were actually holding hands across the table.  
Proceeding to ask the angel about his week and listening to the retelling of Aairaphale's week Crowley finished off his cake and coffee. "Would you like me to walk you back to the bookshop?", he asks, hoping to spend some more time with the angel. "Oh yes, that would be lovely."  
And so they went out to walk back to Aziraphale's. The angel at their hands brush together and gave him a questioning book. As Crowley gave an affirmative nod he laced their fingers together.  
They decided to walk the longer route back to the bookshop.


End file.
